First day back, Feeling a bit scattered

First day back to a fairly quiet house and office. The children have returned to school from Holiday break and I am loving having a few hours of quiet to focus on work. I have found that since I started this business I always have a longer “to do” list than I do hours in the day to accomplish things. Which is really funny since “self employed” seems to translate to “she doesn’t do anything during the day” in the eyes of my friends and family. I don’t know how many times I am contacted during the day to do things for others or references are made to me being a housewife. In some respects I really do like being able to help at times and simply adjust my schedule for the day if appointments permit but I also would love to get to the glamourous life they apparently think I currently have available to me.:) I do absolutely love the focus of this work but there is something to be said for the security of a paycheck for showing up every day. Entrepreneurship requires constant work, learning, developing, marketing, relationship building and sometimes despite your best efforts does not translate to an immediate financial return for your efforts. It’s a reality I’ve created for myself just as part of me knew I would. Having a secure income to support my family has always keep me tied to a 9-5 job. I needed the control it offered over my finances. Even very early on into this venture I knew I would need a reminder of not only my place in this world but the power entrusted to me as well so I stepped outside of my comfort zone and did this…

On my right arm, as a reminder every time I look down that God is in control and the “I am” within me provides all that I need to walk this path he’s led me to. I also incorporated the Tree of Life (we are all connected) and the hearts I find everywhere (love from the above). The six pink hearts symbolize my six children.  

The reality is while working for other employers I was always quite proficient at bringing income in for them and currently for my clients clearing financial blocks is not an issue. For myself however I guess I just put it on the back burner until recently, giving away my services, writing the book in hopes of helping others and taking many classes to further expand my knowledge base. Now I find myself at a point where I really need to focus on financially supporting my household. I need to accomplish my “to do” list, I need to tie in my service to God in this role in a way that can also provide for those I love most. As part of the clearing I needed I found myself in an STT session facing the part of me consumed by doubt and fears. She was a version of me I know well. I was recently widowed, sad, not wanting to be home, not wanting money, connections or anything else, very broken and longing for solitude. I was scared and feeling as if I couldn’t do anything. My life had turned to a shell of what it once was, as had I. I was no longer able to take away my childrens’ pain and I felt like a failure as a mother. I watched this as the observer (my current state) and showed her the vision for our future as well as the new us. Peaceful, stronger, mended and in love with life. She worked with Archangel Michael, he comforted and renewed her. She is excited to help and sees what we want and why, she knows that we can do it. She looked amazing, a beautiful white light permeating every part of her. I watched as she rose above turning to pure energy and was merged back into me to begin our work. The energy entering my chest was invigorating and ready to get moving, having released this barrier within.

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