Be brave, be open, take action

I am the last of nine children, I have six older brothers and two older sisters. I love all of my siblings but certainly most of our relationships now are quite different than when we were growing up. We are spread out across a couple of states. Some I am closer to as an adult and some much more distant. Oddly there’s one that I never felt like I knew well as a child and still don’t as an adult. It’s strange to look at the various personalities and know that we all are from the same parents. (Who were amazing people, by the way) We all have very different careers, hobbies and lifestyles. I wonder what our parents think as they look down from Heaven as they see our true selves. Probably without all the earthly distinctions we look a lot more similar. Anyway, I spoke briefly to one of my brothers this morning. One I hadn’t spoken to at all in months. I asked how he was doing. He proceeded to tell me about each of his children and his wife. Which was great since I’m happy he’s proud of them but he never really told me anything about himself. He never asked about my six children or my husband and I felt no need to inject them into the conversation. I found the conversation to be a bit strange. I felt he was very guarded about himself and really just wanted to know that I cared about his family. I didn’t push him to talk about himself and gave him the reassurance he wanted regarding his family because I do, they’re part of him. I remember so many conversations with him where he opened up to me and showed his emotions, good, bad or indifferent. I remember going camping together as kids, I remember getting dragged in the middle of his love life drama, I remember living with him in Texas for a summer and I remember listening with a heavy heart as he talked about the trauma he endured when serving during the war. I remember all of it, I remember him… The sweet gentle person with a big heart. That’s who I see and hear whenever I talk to him. So today as I always do I said “I love you big brother” and I wished him a good day. I also sent him lots of love and positive energy after the conversation ended.

It really got me thinking about relationships overall both within our families and not. More specifically about times when we feel isolated. When it seems that no one cares and we are alone in this journey. How much of that feeling is actually truth? How much of it is simply because we choose to be isolated? Maybe not consciously choose but unconsciously because sometimes it seems easier to feel hurt due to isolation than feeling exposed or vulnerable because you allow yourself to connect. Looking back now at times in my life where I felt alone I realize there were so many people that would have gladly been there for me, both strangers and loved ones, if only I had reached out or allowed them past the wall I built for myself.  It wasn't until I decided to be in a better emotional space that I felt others were more supportive and loving. I know now why, because as with every other circumstance, life is indeed a self-fulfilling prophecy. What you feel you are, you will continue to be until you decide to feel differently. When you make that decision you will behave differently, you will show a different part of yourself and thus receive something different from others. On a much more basic level the energetic vibration you emit will always make its way back to you. 

I guess the point of my rambling here is that if today you are feeling sad or alone please don't allow yourself to linger there. Don't wait for someone to change that feeling for you, that can't happen. Decide to change it for yourself, be brave, be open and take action. Talk to a stranger, reach out to a friend, call a family member or go visit someone! There is a whole world out there just waiting for you to be in love with it so it can love you back.